Sometimes I don't understand, why do I feel the way I actually do. It's been a long time since the last time i felt like that, when i spent that night arrested by a car crush, while the whole dream was turned into pieces, and all my hopes about a better future were broken. Now is another girl, from a past i thought i forgot, but my friends brought her back to my memories. I understand the intentions and i really appreciate that, but they're just reopening a wound is supposed to be closed and healed.
I know my feelings for her never died, and i always felt the hope of she'll be back to me, but without compromises. Just a man and a woman sharing the most beautiful memories we had. But now... it seems to be more... complicated.
Like a ghost, her memory is haunting me all the time, i mention her name in all my thoughts, i can't sleep at night thinking about her... I feel her calling me, a mysterious power convincing me to call her, but everytime i tried to contact her, she doesn't reply. And i dunno why. Looking for answers, i ended in a dead end road. So, i wonder: why i'm still wasting my precious time and efforts to reach a girl she forgot me for good? why i'm still trying to talk to a girl she's not willing to reply me? is once again my mind playing tricks on me?
I know my feelings for her never died, and i always felt the hope of she'll be back to me, but without compromises. Just a man and a woman sharing the most beautiful memories we had. But now... it seems to be more... complicated.
Like a ghost, her memory is haunting me all the time, i mention her name in all my thoughts, i can't sleep at night thinking about her... I feel her calling me, a mysterious power convincing me to call her, but everytime i tried to contact her, she doesn't reply. And i dunno why. Looking for answers, i ended in a dead end road. So, i wonder: why i'm still wasting my precious time and efforts to reach a girl she forgot me for good? why i'm still trying to talk to a girl she's not willing to reply me? is once again my mind playing tricks on me?
I don't know what's inside her head, if she's still thinking of me the way i do, for better or worse, if she hates me or loves me but her pride forces her to deny it and deny me. I only wanna know it and go back to my life again. Why she's still inside my mind and heart and I can't remove her from there. It's something i hate too much. Why?
Being honest, i'm feeling like an idiot, like a stupid naive believing the dreams will come true and wasting time dreaming of her, even if i'm awake, instead meeting another girls or living my life the way i used to do before this. 24 years moving on, being far away from her and everything she means to me was a good therapy, but suddenly it seems is not working anymore. Love is more stronger than i thought, no matter how far you go or how much time passed by, the past always, always find the way to come back.
Once, a girl ripped my heart, took away and shattered everything i was, killed all my hopes and dreams, turned me in the man i am and hate to be. Now i walk this life behind a mask of a tough man, but inside of me, there's a wounded heart, dying, bleeding. Now i'm a soldier without a cause, a lonely soldier boy, fighting against his demons and questioning all the moves i made.
I ask to myself once again: Proving she's not interested to talk to me anymore, Should i have to insist talking to her? everytime i do, the answer is clear: NO.
I think close this chapter and leaving her, living her life the way she always did, wishing her the best and walking away with my pain inside, more dedicated to heal it while i find the girl in my life. keeping her in my heart like she really was: just a good memory of my past.
And pray to God this shit don't drive me crazy. I'm sick and tired of this shit.
Being honest, i'm feeling like an idiot, like a stupid naive believing the dreams will come true and wasting time dreaming of her, even if i'm awake, instead meeting another girls or living my life the way i used to do before this. 24 years moving on, being far away from her and everything she means to me was a good therapy, but suddenly it seems is not working anymore. Love is more stronger than i thought, no matter how far you go or how much time passed by, the past always, always find the way to come back.
Once, a girl ripped my heart, took away and shattered everything i was, killed all my hopes and dreams, turned me in the man i am and hate to be. Now i walk this life behind a mask of a tough man, but inside of me, there's a wounded heart, dying, bleeding. Now i'm a soldier without a cause, a lonely soldier boy, fighting against his demons and questioning all the moves i made.
I ask to myself once again: Proving she's not interested to talk to me anymore, Should i have to insist talking to her? everytime i do, the answer is clear: NO.
I think close this chapter and leaving her, living her life the way she always did, wishing her the best and walking away with my pain inside, more dedicated to heal it while i find the girl in my life. keeping her in my heart like she really was: just a good memory of my past.
And pray to God this shit don't drive me crazy. I'm sick and tired of this shit.